Guaranteed Way to Stress a Late-Term Pregnant Woman

With two weeks until our due date, all the signs of a glorious day appeared during one our final quiet mornings.  Birds harmonized in the trees, our cat purred for attention, and sunlight peaked through the bedroom curtains…and our living room drywall.

So much cheaper than installing windows

When we moved to our house a few months ago, we learned about dry rot issues that should be mitigated easily, quickly, and cheaply.  On Monday the contractor removed siding to determine the extent of dry rot damage and found that termites had quite the buffet at the cost of a huge piece of wood that provides support to the corner of the house.  It’s nothing major; just something that prevents the house from sagging toward the corner.

I’m not trying to be dramatic, but this is a dramatic result of weak home structure

While testing and replacing this structural board, the workers banged a little too hard and cracked our interior drywall.  I couldn’t think of an easy way to tell my wife other than to say, “honey, there’s something you need to see over here and it’s not good”.  It wasn’t what she needed to hear after a day without running water while a plumber was also fixing a leak in our crawlspace.  At least the pipe will be fixed after the glue cures by the morning of day two.

We’re not quite ready to stage a game show at our hosue

The morning of day two came and the glue hadn’t cured correctly meaning no toilet, sink, or shower usage for another day.  We quickly learned the fastest route to our community building’s bathroom for those urgent times (when we have to brush our teeth of course).  Surely a pregnant woman in her final trimester doesn’t need ready access to a working bathroom.  It’s not all bad.  I finally had an honest excuse to leave a pile of plates in the sink and not shower – what a dream!

There’s a fine line between a drainage pipe for water and one for a warp zone

At the end of day two the contractor had replaced the structural board and siding and primed them to prevent this from happening again for a long, long time.  With another day of no water, we ate at a Chinese restaurant to try its food and enjoy its toilet and sink offerings.  By the middle of day three, another plumber swung by and fixed the pipe.  A day later the contractor fixed the drywall with patching, putty, primer, and paint.  All was good again.

My wife’s stress decreased (as did my hidden worries), we’re still pregnant, and we made plans to make no more plans for contractor home repairs – until our A/C compressor assuredly dies at the height of the summer.

Call Me Something Other Than SAHD

We must think of a different phrase for a stay-at-home dad (SAHD).  I am as far from being sad to be a SAHD as can be.  I’ve seen “at-home dad” used, but then I’m an AHD.  An ad for being a SAHD perhaps?  As I experience the life of a SAHD or AHD, I wonder if there’s a better acronym out there.  Here’s what I’ve thought of; maybe one of them will stick during my time as a dad who’s a house spouse (DWAHS). Feel free to vote in the comments section.

DAHD – Daily at Home Dad

DAHDEE – Daily At Home Diaper Engineering Entrepreneur

DWCTLHJTSAH – Dad Who Chose to Leave His Job to Stay at Home (more initialism than acronym, but worth trying to avoid questions from parents)

D-WAPE – Dad Who’s At Playground Everyday (not because it’s “daddy’s day”)

D-WESH – Dad Who Everyday Swaddles at Home (ninja swaddling skills required)

F-NOBD – Father Not Offended by Diapers (maybe if I plugged my nose)

F-TWIB – Father Thankful Wife Is Breadwinner (for allowing me to have this great life experience)

HAPEE – Home All-the-time Parental Engaging Endeavour (whatever it takes to reverse being SAHD)

SWOWAPOCD – Someone Who Only wants A Pile Of Clean Diapers

SEED – Stinky Evacuator of Every Diaper (easy to pronounce, hard to maintain)

To-Go Bag Ready To Go

We’ve been told that when the contractions start and the hospital tells us to come on down, that it’s not the time to pack what’s needed to make labor and delivery more comfortable.  Fortunately, we got this message and have packed three to-go bags ready for action.  Three!?  You say?  You’re right to judge, but they’re small and make it easier to find what we need.

Bag #1 – Immediate Delivery Needs
This bag comes into the hospital when we arrive and includes things we need, well, immediately when we arrive like our pregnancy binder (points of contact, notes, birthing plan), snacks, iPods with relaxing pregnancy playlists, cell and iPod chargers, a change of clothes, a camera bag, and small toiletries (nobody wants bad breath when breathing deeply in their partner’s face).

One way to ensure your supportive words during labor aren’t appreciated is to say them with halitosis

Bag #2 – Empty Bag for Baby Stuff
Kaiser provides us with a few going away gifts for the baby like diapers, small clothes, and an encyclopedia of discharge papers.  It’ll be nice to have an empty bag ready to receive all of this stuff.

If you didn’t know, an encyclopedia is a physical volume of books explaining many, many things in the world; think Wikipedia Lite

Bag #3 – Post-Delivery Bag
After a normal delivery, Kaiser moves us to the post delivery wing and allows us to stay there for 24 hours before giving us the boot.  When we thankfully make it to this wing, I’ll grab this bag from the car so we’ll have overnight goodies like blankets, pajamas, books, additional toiletries, and another set of clothes for the wife’s Parenting magazine photo shoot.

This is what happens when you have lots of time to prepare.

Cloth Versus Disposable Diapers

It’s a shame that our society believes in sanitary waste disposal.  If only civilized people accepted the natural desire to evacuate our bodies whenever and wherever we wanted.  It’s the rule when you’re camping in the forest and it’s time we expand it to raising a baby in suburbia.  Living this way would avoid the great diaper debate of cloth versus disposable.  No diapers, no debate, no problem.  One less decision to make about how we’ll raise our kid.

According to my highly scientific poll of six new parents in the Bay Area, half chose cloth, half chose disposable, and nobody wants to start the whenever/wherever evacuation revolution.  Based on our research we found the following pros and cons for these waste disposal methods.  Note that these are before we’re actually drowning in diapers.

Oh the sweet diaper changing naivete of first-time parents

Cloth Diapers – Pros
Based on my 3rd grade arithmetic skills, this is the 2nd cheapest waste disposal option.  Let’s say you need 20 resizable cloth diapers at about $20 each to have enough available when they’re not soiled, being washed, or waiting to be dried.  We’re looking at $400 for these resizable diapers.  A high upfront cost, but we know how much we’re spending on the main diapers for the kid’s needs.  It’s a cheaper option even with a few disposable diapers for emergencies and babysitter comfort.

Some claim that because a cloth diaper doesn’t absorb fluids as deep as a disposable diaper, the baby’s more likely to realize how uncomfortable a full diaper feels.  And with a baby knowing a full diaper isn’t fun, you can (possibly) get the baby potty trained sooner than with disposable diapers.  Oh how I dream of the day our kid is potty trained.

Smelly diapers are no trouble with a HAZMAT suit

If all diapers are going to smell, you might as well save money and help the environment while you’re at it.  These diapers won’t end up in the landfill for three or four years and they take up cubic tons less space (again I’m bad at arithmetic) than years of disposables.  While the diapers give off a glorious smell until washed, you can purchase an airtight container to hold the used diapers where the smell will stay; oh how you’ll pray that the smell stays there.

Today’s cloth diapers are much easier to work with than the last generation’s version.  Back in the day, cloth diapers required having clothespins on hand for all diaper changes (good luck if you had none).  Also, the pins could poke the baby.  Today’s cloth diapers use velcro or buttons for closing and some models allow you to resize based on the baby’s leg size and torso.  We read that velcro diapers are tough in the washing machine because they attach to everything so buttons would be the better choice.

Cloth Diapers – Cons
It can be a messy moneysaving exercise.  You’ll get up close and personal to your baby’s offerings when you give the used diaper its initial cleaning before stashing it away for later washing machine sanitizing.  Some cloth users have added a sprayer to their toilet piping which helps to clean the diaper and avoid getting your hands on the bad stuff.  I’m not sure what my limit is on personal space and this messiness.

Can you place a price on diaper pre-washing convenience?

Using cloth diapers requires a strict washing cycle so diapers are always available.  A cloth diaper is either waiting to be used, being worn, newly soiled, freshly washed, or air drying (diaper pads/linings may be dried in the dryer, but the actual diaper must be air dried).  If you fall behind washing diapers you’ll breakout the emergency stash of disposable diapers.  Also, there’s the small cost of water and electricity to wash them.

To appease grandparents or other caregivers who don’t want to get close to the baby’s scrumptious gifts you’ll want a few disposable diapers.  It’s what they know, the disposables are easier to work with, and if it helps you get their help then it’s worth the cost.  Also, disposables are good to have when going far from home so you don’t have to hold onto smelly cloth diapers, unless you find a good airtight container.

If a diaper smells in the forest, but your nose is behind plastic, does it make a stink?

Diaper rash can take place with any diaper, but using a cloth diaper runs the risk of the baby’s skin reacting to the cloth’s material, lining, or plastic.  Once you find a brand that works for your baby’s skin you’re in the clear, but until then there’s a rash possibility.  Still though, trying single cloth diapers before buying a larger amount is still much cheaper than going all-in with disposables.

Disposable Diapers – Pros
The baby makes a mess, you remove the diaper, toss it in the garbage, grab a new one that’s clean each and every time, and put it on.  There’s no need to consider a cleaning schedule to ensure you have diapers available.  You just need to make sure there’s another big box in the house by subscribing to weekly diaper deliveries.

Disposable diapers earn many more credit card points than cloth diapers

Everyone knows how to change a disposable diaper so it’s easier to get help with the baby.  Changing a diaper is an easier sell when you can just wrap it up and throw it away.  No need to prewash grossness down the toilet before really being done with the full changing process.

Disposable Diapers – Cons
Disposables cost hundreds of dollars more than cloth per year, even with subscription delivery services.  Some couples have estimated they spent about $1,000/year on diapers meaning cloth diapers would’ve saved them $2,500 during their first three years.

Once thrown away, disposable don’t disintegrate for many decades (or more) in a landfill.  Disposable diapers contribute a mountain of waste that could be avoided with cloth diapers that work just as well.  Also, your baby may get too big for the shelves of diapers you bought rendering them unused and wasted.  Resizable cloth diapers should last throughout the kid’s newborn to toddler years.

Whenever/Wherever Evacuation – Pros
It’s free!  You don’t have to worry about having properly-sized disposables ready or paying a high upfront cost with cloth diapers.  No additional, albeit small, costs for garbage bags for disposables or water and electricity to clean cloth diapers.

Don’t order on Amazon, live like you’re in the Amazon!

No worries about rashes and allergic reactions to cloth or plastic linings.  This is the most organic, free range, farm fed, gluten free, PBA-free, rBST free, antioxidant rich, locally sourced way for your baby to live.  Live and let live as they want!  On top of that, if cow manure makes for a great fertilizer, then your baby’s bathroom treats will help plants wherever the baby aims its goods.  I haven’t confirmed this to be true.

Whenever/Wherever Evacuation – Cons
If you’re far from dirt and can’t dig a hole, others will think it’s gross, unsanitary, and an easy vehicle to transmit diseases.  You won’t be welcomed at a new parents group, you won’t keep your adult friends, and when you’re pushing your kid in a Target shopping cart you’ll set a record for death stares.  If you don’t anticipate the movement in time, you’ll do massive amounts of disgusting laundry, all the while finding ways to hide the smell until the washing machine starts.

Our cloth diapers may never be this clean again

Our Choice – Cloth Diapers (with a few Disposables for Babysitters)
We bought 20 cloth diapers with buttons and will maintain a box of disposables for emergencies and babysitters.  Cloth diapers require more work and can be messy, but the cost savings, environmental value, and possibility of earlier potty training makes them worth trying.  Trying being the key word.

Types of Couples Found in Pregnancy Classes

With many a pregnancy class behind us, I noticed that each person or couple attending fell into one of eight attendee categories.  Because I’m writing this post I decided that my wife and I were the perfect pregnancy class attendee type.  And if someone else wrote this post, we’d fall squarely into one of the less desirable categories.  See if you can find each attendee type at your next pregnancy class!

Know-It-All
When an instructor asks a question, this attendee knows the answer and shares it.  That’s admirable and helps the class move forward.  The problem is when the instructor makes a statement and this attendee adds their expertise each and every time.  Statements are not questions.  It’s great that you’ve read three books on pregnancy and are overflowing with knowledge, but how about we let the teacher teach the class?  We’re not getting graded on participation.  When the teacher discusses the pelvic bones during birth, you just have to say, “isn’t that also the ishium, ilium, and pubis?”  Idiot!  You even forgot the sacrum!  You know nothing.

To critique a Know-It-All, one must remember the sacrum

Exacting/Questioner
Our pregnancy teachers did well at providing us information at the levels we needed.  Our teacher gave us details when talking about the timeline for diaper changes in the first week.  And things were kept in broad terms as necessary, like calling the two doses for epidurals: light and heavy.  So why do you, Exacting/Questioner, ask how many CCs are provided for each epidural?  Only to the have the teacher tell you yet again, like so many figures and pregnancy events, that it will depend on the mother’s health, health history, and delivery progress.  I’m all for understanding the pregnancy process, but you have to recognize there are some things that none of us need to know.

Not everything must be exact; a small reason why we no longer get sized for shoes with X-rays

Product Placer
This attendee is a targeted pop-up ad that appears after you Google anything baby related.  This person advertises and namedrops their wares for: books, DVDs, bottles, monitors, cribs, clothes, car seats, strollers (jogging, multi-purpose, umbrella, and carriage), changing tables, bassinets, shoes, swaddle blankets, pack-and-plays, diapers (and their bags and lotions), pacifiers, breast pumps, baby backpacks like Baby Bjorn (now I’m a namedropper!), hand sanitizers, sunhats, thermometers, toys (fun and unnecessarily early education), bibs, baby chairs, bathtubs, stuffed animals, mattresses…ouch my head hurts.  Don’t even think about asking the attendee’s opinion about local schools.

Debater
Pregnancy teachers have taught for years, often are certified midwives or lactation consultants, and have seen it all before, during, and after delivery.  So why, dear debater, must you question every statement’s basis?  It’s one thing to not understand a concept and ask for an explanation (like the infamous breastfeeding value slide), but not every statement demands interrogation.  It gets worse when you challenge a medical finding by using an old wives’ tale for your evidence.  Believe in the teacher’s knowledge and question the validity of things on your own time.

I came to learn about meconium; not to watch a Frost/Nixon reenactment

Storyteller
Teacher: During delivery, sometimes a baby’s face is turned up, instead of down as preferred.  Yes, do you have a question?

Storyteller: I started to come out face up; they called it sunnyside up.

Teacher: Thanks.  In the past, when a baby needed assistance, the doctor would use forceps, but this is not a common practice at Kaiser because fewer doctors are trained for them and it isn’t needed often.  A question perhaps?

Storyteller: I had a boss once who had to be pulled out with forceps and they took his ears right off.  They reattached them though and he’s fine.

Teacher: That’s extremely rare.  The cord may be wrapped around the baby’s neck one or even two times; a situation that’s remedied safe quickly.  Did you have something to ask?

Storyteller: That reminds me of a boa constrictor my friend once had growing up.

Other attendees: We wish it had wound itself around your neck and never let go.

Jokester
What do you call a dozen people in a conference room paying attention to a pregnancy teacher?  I’d say people attending a pregnancy class.  The jokester sees their largest comedy audience to date.  We’re not at the Improv and you’re not the featured comedian.  You’re not the MC or host.  You’re not the warmup act.  You’re not funny.  Why must you answer every question with a joke?  Why must you laugh at bodily fluid chatter like a seventh grader in health class?  Save these thoughts, that only you think are hilarious and creative, for your blog about being a stay-at-home dad.

When the jokes aren’t followed by laughter, get off the stage

Disengaged
This attendee looks down at handouts, stays quiet during small group discussions, and checks their smartphone throughout.  These gestures border on shyness, but over the course of a class, it’s clear they have no desire to pay attention.  Shy attendees still pay attention and take notes.  Disengaged attendees do everything except gain valuable pregnancy insights; you know, the purpose of attending a pregnancy class.  As long as their actions don’t distract the class, disengaged folk only harm themselves.

Perfect Attendee
Me and my wife*. 

* Based on an informal poll of this blog’s author.

Babymoon Wine Tasting in Napa and Sonoma

With five weeks to go before our due date, my wife and I took a 36-hour babymoon to Napa this weekend.  Of course she couldn’t taste any of the wines, but she did use her pregnancy-powered super olfactory ability to find notes that the commonfolk couldn’t detect.  She also got to select fancy cheeses for our vineyard picnic seeing as how cheese has become her main caloric vice these days. 

How do you keep your pregnant wife happy in wine country?  Give her fancy cheese, lots and lots of fancy cheese (pasteurized of course).

Going to Napa for cheese is akin to going to France for Kentucky Fried Chicken.  But my wife had Marriott points to spend from her work travels, the landscape is pretty, and it’s an hour away so her bladder could last until we arrived.  Plus, she could finally enjoy a bed with a million pillows without my angst.  We enjoyed the hotel’s wine tasting, olive sampler, fire pit couches, and concierge lounge happy hour and breakfast offerings.

We also tried to be all sorts of healthy by going to the fitness center to offset our food gorging.  Tucked away in the corner of the room, between exercise balls and a mirror, was a 3x3” sign (not pictured below) that warned us that the room “…contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm”.  I continued to exercise and my wife promptly turned around and left.  A sign like this should be more prominent, like on the door to the fitness center.

No workout is worth the chemical exposure risk or energy required to find out exactly what the chemical exposure risk entails

Chalk this up to another concern we didn’t sweat (a pun!) before getting pregnant (or moving to California a year ago).  The sign’s due to California’s Proposition 65, the Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act of 1986, that provides Californians with a right-to-know of chemical exposure.  It sure scared us enough to not have my wife exercise, but a simple sign doesn’t tell us enough.  If she just used the elliptical and not the foam stretching mat, would that be safe?  It was easier to not use the fitness center instead of researching the chemicals and products in question and I’d bet that that’s how almost everyone deals with these signs.

Sonoma square is nice, especially when roses are in bloom

We wrapped up our Napa stay with a stroll around the always reliable Sonoma Square where we tossed a Frisbee, stopped and smelled the great rose varieties, and did some window shopping.  Finally, we swung by a winery for me to taste; for my wife to smell; and for us to enjoy a nice meal among the vines, a pond, a friendly dog, and great weather.

Our picnic included the four CH delicacies of cheese, cherries, chocolate, and chardonnay (pictured: before we started)

We enjoyed the peace and quiet; being in each other’s company; and eating a simple meal without worrying about bibs, sharp objects on the table, and getting dirty looks from others when our kid doesn’t stop crying.  There’ll be plenty of time to worry about finding a babysitter later.

  

 My wife and her degree in chemistry called it a methane picnic.  Why?  Because CH4 is methane’s chemical formula.  I needed her to explain it to me too. (pictured: after we stuffed ourselves)

Enough Studying to be an OB/GYN

Our April calendar was full of pregnancy classes.  All of them provided a ton of great information; so much information that it’s now organized in my head as mush and unlikely to be recalled when I need it most.  Following first trimester and second trimester classes in the last few months, herein was our April coursework:

Newborn Class
This 2.5-hour course walked us through everything about a newborn from breastfeeding and skin blotches that disappear after birth, to changing a diaper and the unending cycle of feeding and sleeping.  The class reminded me of a few things that I’m not looking forward to like fevers, the challenge to soothe, and lack of REM sleep.

I am mortally intrigued with the idea of blowouts; when a child sprays their smelliest goods with such velocity that it hits the wall behind me, but I worry that it’ll land on me and that the cleanup will remove any awe I had for the act.  It sounds like a mighty athletic feat; just one I won’t purposely try to make happen, but does happen to all parents eventually.

Hospital Tour
Surprise!  This 90-minute class showed us delivery and recovery rooms.  We learned about many nice things like the fancy meal we get after birth, a parking pass to dropoff the expectant mother (remind me to call for one before delivery), hand sanitizers at nearly every entrance, and a foldout couch for me to sleep on in the delivery room.  Those are nice things. 

Look at Kaiser-Permanente's brand new $2 million hospital in Walnut Creek, where expectant fathers can "suffer under the most comfortable circumstances possible"

What’s not nice?  The guide told us the recovery room foldout chair is comfortable for someone who’s 5’5”.  I’m 6’2”.  This is the only reason I’m thankful we’re given all of 24 hours in that room before getting the boot.  When I don’t sleep well on that chair/bed I will tell my wife, “I hope you appreciate this sacrifice I’m making for you.  To be uncomfortable for one night of sleep is a heroic act, all on your behalf.”  Then I’ll get an evil eye stare and ask her if I can get more ice chips.  Yes, she's aware of this blog.

60 years later and look at Kaiser's labor and delivery care today

 
Postpartum
Post-birth depression for either parent, feeling bad about not forming an instant connection to the baby, and the continued physical changes to the mother’s body are solemn discussion topics.  These serious subjects deserved a serious two-hour class of warnings, cautions, and notes about both partners after birth.

Then the instructor talked to us about using KY. 

With 15 minutes left she showed us props like candles, babymaking protection, and a Yanni CD to get in the mood.  A Yanni CD!  I got mixed messages.  Was she trying to encourage or discourage fun times?

Bow chicka bow-wow!

In all seriousness, this was a good class about the aforementioned solemn topics that reinforced the signs to look for, how to get help, and that you’re not alone if this happens to you or your partner.

Breastfeeding
Nipples…lots and lots of nipples.  I’m not talking about a Bourbon Street webcam.  Nope.  This was the opposite end of the flash-your-boobs spectrum.  For someone to let themselves nurse on video was brave.  Especially for the woman with the bad tattoo of a checkered flag that went from her wrist, wrapped around her forearm and upper arm, and ended at her neck.

Besides the videos there was a lot of good information and advice.  Did you know that if your baby’s sick, the mother’s body will detect that and produce milk with medicine appropriate for the baby?  Or that the mother’s skin will slightly darken up the middle of her chest to help the child see the path for nursing?  What the mother’s body knows to do and can do during pregnancy is just incredible!

Oh, now I get how this will work

Kaiser-Permanente is strongly pro-breastfeeding, and it appears with good reason; lauding benefits like nutrients, immunization assistance, bonding, and decreased risk for many diseases.  However, attendee questions came flying when a slide displayed results from a 2007 study that showed unequivocally that breastfed kids are far better off than formula-fed kids.  The slide said, "Babies fed formula are at increased risk [for]..." and included data such as: pneumonia - 72%, digestive tract inflammation - 64%, ear infections - 50%, and SIDS - 36%.

While Kaiser has made it clear that not all mothers are able to nurse successfully and has resources to help, this slide would make a mother who is unable to breastfeed feel two inches tall for failing to prevent her child from these diseases.  One of the first questions asked about the slide was how much formula had been given to the babies in the study?  Was it being fed formula all the time?  Once or twice each day?  Half of the kid’s feedings?  Is an occasional formula feeding THAT harmful?

Unfortunately our instructor didn’t know the details of the study so she was unable to put all of us at ease.  I read the Tufts study, or skimmed its 419 pages for an answer, and learned it's a meta-analysis combining some 9,000 abstracts of other studies.  I then found this in chapter 2, Definitions of Breastfeeding in this Report:

 For term infants, “bottle-feeding” is used synonymously with “formula feeding.”  Definitions of “exclusive breastfeeding” varied widely in the literature. They ranged from “no supplement of any kind including water while breastfeeding” to “occasional formula is permissible while breastfeeding.” We elected to accept all definitions of “exclusive breastfeeding” as provided by the different study authors, but we qualified our findings by the details regarding those definitions.

I take this to mean that the study doesn't provide a strict definition of breastfed vs bottlefed quantities or frequencies (finding a common baseline is a challenge when doing a meta-analysis).  Which means no instructor would be able to provide a breaking point value when choosing breastfed vs bottlefed.  Kaiser should just mention the benefits in broad terms without percentages because those percentages imply exact quantity and frequency values behind them. 

Some mothers are unable to or choose not to breastfeed so let's not make them feel so bad about their mothering skills, okay?

Better to do that than add a touch of worry to new parents who choose to or have no choice other than to give formula.  We’ve got plenty to worry about already.  Don't get me wrong, this slide was the only negative thing in this class.  And of course, I'm not an academic researcher, just a soon-to-be dad trying to learn what he can do to provide his kid the best chance in this world.  

After taking this class and knowing we have many resources for advice and lactation assistance, I didn’t see a need to purchase the breastfeeding book everyone was hyping before the class.  And so far my wife hasn’t pulled the trigger on Amazon.  If the class stops us from buying another $25 book about handling a newborn, then this free class (nevermind our premiums) was money well spent.

Birthing Class
When my wife signed us up for this class (three hours Friday, seven hours Saturday), it was the one I imagined we’d take and be done for all classes.  That was until the earlier classes showed there’s more to pregnancy than memorizing the route to the hospital.  We covered things like tracking contractions, breathing and relaxation techniques during labor, and pain management options during childbirth.

While the length of the class seemed daunting, I only checked my watch three or four times.  The instructor was great, making sure we were engaged in the topics (and providing us much needed breaks), and the course material included a few hours of meditation and labor comforting exercises. Funny how time flies while wearing socks on a yoga mat with your eyes closed. 

The women got to test back, foot, and hand massage techniques to see which would work best when their uteri are clamping like junkyard car crushers

We saw many pictures and animations that explained the biology of giving birth.  In one video we saw two real-life babies squirt out like champagne corks, which thankfully lasted no more than eight seconds in total.  It wasn’t as gory as I expected (thanks to no placenta shots) and nobody in the class passed out.  One video followed a couple’s experience from the first contraction to birth and when the lights were turned on, many of us were wiping our eyes seeing the joy of the new parents after their struggle.  The class wrapped with pain medication options, Cesarean section births, and post labor tests and events.

Graduation
I read the Mayo Clinic’s pregnancy book about the 1st and 2nd trimesters, but my reading tailed off months ago.  These additional classes were great, filled my knowledge gap nicely, and saved me from pregnancy reading overload.  I’m ready to cash in my Kaiser-Permanente class credits and begin coursework toward a real degree in fatherhood in less than two months.