A Baby Boy's Bathing Battle

Call me Ishmael. Or just a stay-at-home-dad, that's fine with me too.

I'm here to gloat for learning a new task and now I want my due.

For I battled a mighty beast whose flailing limbs he had no control,

Making it through this without tears from him - this was my goal.

My wife did the deed three times before and found great success,

Now it was time for me to learn how to clean our son after a mess.

Oh how his fresh face wailed and pinged my ears with such great fury,

All taking place before he was undressed and already full of worry.

I cleared the kitchen sink and counter of any items that could pose a danger,

Then gathered a towel, some washcloths, and baby soap; this was no manger.

I plugged the sink and ran the water until it warmed to the right temp,

Then removed his diaper and hoped he wouldn't get verklempt.

I placed him in the three inches of water while his cries continued,

He didn't like what was coming his way; it wasn't time for tissues.

I placed some fingers under his far armpit and used my wrist to support his head,

I learned the technique from my wife, "Oh you're doing great," is what she said.

Then I realized why he was paining my heart with his very loud chord,

He was on the pointy sink stopper, so I covered it with a plastic cutting board.

I soaped up a washcloth to clean his limbs, torso, and each nook and cranny,

Then I cleared him with a cascade from the sprayer; gotta clean his fanny.

I dabbed soap on his face so it would remain baby smooth and baby soft,

Then I cleaned his scalp and his hair; can you tell I'm no Robert Frost?

I turned off the water, gave him a smile, and carried him to the kitchen table,

Where I wrapped him in a fresh towel that instantly soothed and made him stable.

He gave me a sigh, flashed his blue eyes, and may have cracked a sweet, loving smile,

As I quickly applied a fresh diaper, now that he was clean, making this worthwhile.

Feeling confident with this babycare task considering that I didn't completely fail,

I'm ready to improve future battles with this great beast that will occasionally wail.