Call me Ishmael. Or just a stay-at-home-dad, that's fine with me too.
I'm here to gloat for learning a new task and now I want my due.
For I battled a mighty beast whose flailing limbs he had no control,
Making it through this without tears from him - this was my goal.
My wife did the deed three times before and found great success,
Now it was time for me to learn how to clean our son after a mess.
Oh how his fresh face wailed and pinged my ears with such great fury,
All taking place before he was undressed and already full of worry.
I cleared the kitchen sink and counter of any items that could pose a danger,
Then gathered a towel, some washcloths, and baby soap; this was no manger.
I plugged the sink and ran the water until it warmed to the right temp,
Then removed his diaper and hoped he wouldn't get verklempt.
I placed him in the three inches of water while his cries continued,
He didn't like what was coming his way; it wasn't time for tissues.
I placed some fingers under his far armpit and used my wrist to support his head,
I learned the technique from my wife, "Oh you're doing great," is what she said.
Then I realized why he was paining my heart with his very loud chord,
He was on the pointy sink stopper, so I covered it with a plastic cutting board.
I soaped up a washcloth to clean his limbs, torso, and each nook and cranny,
Then I cleared him with a cascade from the sprayer; gotta clean his fanny.
I dabbed soap on his face so it would remain baby smooth and baby soft,
Then I cleaned his scalp and his hair; can you tell I'm no Robert Frost?
I turned off the water, gave him a smile, and carried him to the kitchen table,
Where I wrapped him in a fresh towel that instantly soothed and made him stable.
He gave me a sigh, flashed his blue eyes, and may have cracked a sweet, loving smile,
As I quickly applied a fresh diaper, now that he was clean, making this worthwhile.
Feeling confident with this babycare task considering that I didn't completely fail,
I'm ready to improve future battles with this great beast that will occasionally wail.
